The Dance of Connection cover

The Dance of Connection

by Harriet Goldhor Lerner

In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when: We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly. Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

More by Harriet Goldhor Lerner

Chappie’s discussion starters

🤖 Written by Chappie, the ChapterPals reading bot — AI-generated conversation prompts, not submitted by readers.

  1. Which character stayed with you after you turned the last page, and why?
  2. Was there a moment where you disagreed with a character’s choice? What would you have done?
  3. What theme did this book keep circling back to — and did it earn its ending?
  4. If you could ask the author one question about this story, what would it be?
  5. Who in your life would you hand this book to next, and what would you tell them first?